A wedding is a funeral where you smell your own flowers. It may not pass your way again.- Robert A. Heinlein, For those who do not think,it is best at least to rearrangetheir prejudices once in a while.- Luther Burbank, The function of muscle is to pull and not to push,except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.- Leonardo da Vinci, It is only the poor who pay cash,and that not from virtue,but because they are refused credit.- Anatole France, I do not fear death.I had been dead for billions and billionsof years before I was born,and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.- Mark Twain, Science is a wonderful thingif one does not have to earn one's living at it.- Albert Einstein, Delusion: belief said to be false by someone who does not share it.- Thomas Szasz, If you ask me anything I don't know,I'm not going to answer.- Yogi Berra, Though I am a servant, I am not your servant.- Ursula K. Le Guin, Man's nature is not essentially evil.Brute nature has been known toyield to the influence of love.You must never despair of human nature.- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi, Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.- John Lennon, Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,till you know there is no hook beneath it.- Thomas Jefferson, The most difficult phase of lifeis not when no one understands you,it is when you don't understand yourself.- Anonymous, I once had a rose named after meand I was very flattered.But I was not pleased to readthe description in the catalogue:no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.- Eleanor Roosevelt, Do not use a hatchet to removea fly from your friend's forehead.- Chinese Proverb, One does not discover new lands without consentingto lose sight of the shore for a very long time.- Andre Gide, It's not clutter, it's my unique filing system.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, The existence of an anthropomorphic"Father-figure" deity is not impossible,merely exceptionally improbable and illogical.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.- Mary Wilson Little, Confused Memories of Childhood:Hate to my father, cruel hate,confused with love - a mix not great.The man I love - the man I hate;the man I want to emulate.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweetand steady and loyal and enduring a naturethat it will last through a whole lifetime,if not asked to lend money.- Mark Twain, I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one anotherand I know there are people in the worldthat do not love their fellow human beingsand I HATE people like that.- Tom Lehrer, Belief is not the beginning but the end of all knowledge.- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Do not laugh much or often or unrestrainedly.- Epictetus, Faith: not wanting to know what is true.- Friedrich Nietzsche, If you can not answer a man's argument,all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.- Elbert Hubbard, The mind is not a vessel to be filledbut a fire to be kindled.- Plutarch, If Christ were here now there is one thinghe would not be - a Christian.- Mark Twain, Am I not destroying my enemieswhen I make friends of them?- Abraham Lincoln, Too often the strong, silent man is silent only becausehe does not know what to say, and is reputed strongonly because he has remained silent.- Winston Churchill, The objection to Puritans is not thatthey try to make us think as they do,but that they try to make us do as they think.- H. L. Mencken, A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.- Herm Albright. Demetri Martin. I kill that pussy but I don't go to the funeral.

I've a great fancy to see my own funeral afore I die. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy. ", followed by 171 people on Pinterest. Funny Goodbye Sayings and Quotes. When I die, will someone please go to my funeral dressed like the Grim Reaper? - Jonathan Lockwood Huie No, Let… Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. If anyone at my funeral has a long face, I'll never speak to him again. - Jonathan Lockwood Huie.

Subscribe in a reader -- or ITS A FUNERAL MAN! See more ideas about Funeral, Funny, Death humor. But they're done nonetheless. 7883 matching entries found. Towing a Hearse 2. The Ontario native's parting words are going viral. Enter your email address:Delivered by FeedBurner, Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girlcould want in her life, except for good taste in men.- Anonymous, To keep your marriage brimming,With love in the wedding cup,Whenever you're wrong, admit it;Whenever you're right, shut up.- Ogden Nash, The Wedding March always reminds me of the musicplayed when soldiers go into battle.- Heinrich Heine, A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her motherwhy the bride changed her mind.What do you mean? These LMAO quotes are so funny and humor.We are sure that these quotes make you laugh.Read This 26 LMAO Quotes 26 LMAO Quotes 26 LMAO Quotes …. it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, You don't say anything, just stand there... R.I.P to my Ex...the funeral will be held at Never Again Baptist Church, located across from The Lies You Told Cemetery, on Moving TF On Ave.

He who comes for the inheritance is often made to pay for the funeral. I go to funerals and people are like 'tell a joke' and 'say one of your lines in a movie.' Sorry Same Saying Apologize. 1. Showing search results for "Funny Funeral" sorted by relevance. When I exercise, I wear all black. responded her mother.Well, she went down the aisle with one man,and came back with another.- Anonymous, This day I will marry my friend,the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.- Anonymous, Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habitsand then complain that he's not the man she married?- Barbra Streisand, It's not the size of the dog in the fight,it's the size of the fight in the dog.- Mark Twain, If you are not one of us, you are one of them.- the movie The Matrix (1999), Be careful not to do your good deedswhen there's no one watching you.- Tom Lehrer, "It's not that important,don't worry about it" is the answer,now what was the question?- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, Live life on the edge, not with an edge.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, Do not marry a man to reform him.That is what reform schools are for.- Mae West, Two things are infinite:the universe and human stupidity;and I'm not sure about the universe.- Albert Einstein, No man is truly married until he understandsevery word his wife is NOT saying.- Anonymous, I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.- Anonymous, If at first you don't succeed,skydiving is not for you.- Anonymous, Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.Uh, depending on the breaks.- the movie Dr. Strangelove, Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.- Albert Einstein, I care not much for a man's religionwhose dog and cat are not the better for it.- Abraham Lincoln, When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.- Mark Twain, One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.- Winston Churchill, It's not the men in your life that counts,it's the life in your men.- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel, The most important words in the English languageare not "I love you" but "It's benign. I know that this is what you want. it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, Poetic Funeral Quotes. “ I never make the same mistake twice. A funeral keeps both of us apart.

My mom would say it's in poor taste to allow elements of my life that should remain private for the benefit of those who have offended me to make their way into this blog. Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes. but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me. Always Father Bride Wedding. You know that you are not alone. Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader. I make it five or six times, just to be sure. Saying, 'I'm sorry' is the same as saying, ' I apologize.' Even the best of friends cannot attend each other's funeral. it's funny how forever never seems to last, Funny Funeral Quotes Funny Quotes about Funeral. You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes. Our Loved One was Amazing. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how … Here's my tombstone in case anyone was wondering.

it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, Everything!Where are you? Need you like water in my lungs. Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. Thank you for visiting: Funny Funeral Quotes - Funny Quotes about Funeral. Let no one weep for me, or celebrate my funeral with mourning; for I still live, as I pass to and fro through the mouths of men. Custom and user added quotes with pictures.

I choose inner peace. The Nobel is a ticket to one's own funeral. In this section, we have funeral quotes from famous poets, authors, and of course, the English bard himself.

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