I find this process to be incredibly rewarding and also majorly frustrating. We never doubt the value and meaning of our friendship — because they show us how much we mean to them. I love to camp. Laughter is good for the body and good for the soul. Some ideas on how to cultivate friendships: 1. And clearly you appreciate mindfulness with a sense of humor and integrity! My grandfather died recently and some friends of mine wrote me really thoughtful cards which meant the world to me and made me feel really lucky. Isn't it the most infuriating thing when someone calls you only when they need something from you? Elephant offers 2 articles/day for free. If a friend shares a secret with you, make sure you keep that forever. I learned a lot of these skills from how she raised my brother and me. So I go camping with my friends who like to camp, and participate in other activities with the others. Sometimes it’s a phone call — FaceTime is a beautiful thing. My mistake was not being curious. Feeling loved and supported by a "tribe" is often essential to how happy we are. She told me that she had always respected the way that I maintain my friendships and asked me to share more about how I do that. Be loyal. By signing up, you are agreeing to my privacy policy. I have found that the best way to do this is by being honest, and by being kind. How do you feel? When you find a Christian woman friend, you find a treasure. I felt like a terrible friend because I had no idea they were struggling. I am currently working on finishing up my undergrad degree. Follow the tips above and you'll be able to cultivate deeper connections with those in your life. Friendship with Christian Women. I am grateful for the courage that she exhibited in asking, and I am grateful for the opportunity for us to get to know one another better. With over 50 million users, nutrition tracker MyFitnessPal has accumulated a hefty amount of…. It is much easier to state my needs up front than to deal with the strained emotions that come along with not doing so. If I'd made the effort to check-in with them and see how they were really doing, I wouldn't have been blindsided by the news. In my guest post at my friend Kelly’s site, I share how I intentionally seek friendships with Christian women and the many benefits those friendships bring. This was a very painful experience for me, and I vowed that I would do my best to not put myself, or my friends, through that again. They need for me to communicate my needs. How often do you see something that reminds you of the ones that you love, and yet, you do not take the minute or two to send them a text, telling them as such? Through thick and thin, be loyal to your friend. Our friendships with Christian women help us walk well with God. This post may be linked up at these linkups. They do things that I feel are not healthy or productive for them. It has been a long journey for me to gain the type of confidence in myself to be able to speak my mind in a way that honors both my process and my friendships. It takes 7 seconds to join. It happens, we all mess up. Ask yourself what a close friendship means to you. #friendship #womenfriends, How to Handle Holiday Anxiety During Quarantine. I don’t say that lightly — he truly walks the walk when it comes down to showing up for his friends and his family. Sometimes there are a few hundred miles between them and their extended families and friends — sometimes there’s an ocean. It is a practice to accept that it is not always all about me and take a step back. When someone in therapy is going through a difficult time a psychotherapist may often ask, "who is your support network?" Are you really "close" to your close friends or do you just talk about superficial topics? When they say that they love me, I take it in and feel the warmth. Being a life coach, the first thing I did was turn the question back on my mom and ask what she thought it meant to cultivate friendships? It also feels so good to know someone is on your team. It is no coincidence that online dating and the wedding industry are extremely successful businesses. I do my best to show my friends that I appreciate them by giving the gift of myself, my time, and small tokens of my love. My friends are human, and thus not perfect. We're community-driven. If you haven't spent time with your friend in a while, reconnect by sharing what you've learned since the two of you last caught up. However, cultivating friendships with Christian women isn’t always easy. Sign up for our (curated) daily and weekly newsletters. She went on to say that several years ago I had said something that struck a chord in her, and she had been carrying it around ever since. It helps to clear the air and lighten the mood. I think friendships can get off the ground quickly when: For whatever reason you just click with that person unusually well. 4. True friends. Connect with homeschoolers to cultivate friendships. These two young men enjoyed one another’s company and defended one another. I have found myself thinking that I am not qualified to write on the topic. We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. Yet we are so much happier and healthier when we cultivate our friendships. Welcome to elephant's ecosystem. I don’t say that lightly — he truly walks the walk when it comes down to showing up for his friends and his family. Wife and mother of three. The moment your friend told you that secret, they immediately gave their trust to you. “What does it look like to cultivate friendships?”. I love that answer. amzn_assoc_linkid = "3ea3cfd41cd61dec5b42fdef47788543"; Facebook, Periscope, and other social media platforms are all buzzing with homeschool chatter. Life is hard sometimes…really really hard. Thoughtfulness and Generosity: When I use the word "generosity" I don't mean that you should be buying your friends and family expensive gifts (or gifts at all). I get scared when they state their needs, and I can take it personally. There are no classes in school that tell us how to have healthy and happy relationships. It is not always easy to own my shit and admit that I was wrong, but it is an important practice for me. She sees giving as the best way to establish a real relationship and a lasting connection. Part 1 of 3: Meeting New People 1. It can be equal parts interesting and awkward to run into a close friend that you lost touch with.…. In these moments, I am grateful that I have a handful of friends who will sit on the phone with me and allow me to cry without being threatened by my feelings. You can even purchase tickets to a show or make reservations to a restaurant in advance! Happiness is an elusive topic that has been studied and contemplated by many throughout history. Here are a few tips. Compromise and Fairness: All relationships should have some feeling of reciprocity. Secrets are a vital part of every friendship. We are often just navigating them on our own and learning as we go. They will come around when they’re ready. An example is: "I feel like we have been drifting apart. It isn't your responsibility to be your social circle's therapist, but diving into more emotional subjects can bring you closer. They don’t make the choices in life that I would make if I were in their shoes. amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart"; Thank you in advance for supporting my writing ministry! My most meaningful friendships are the ones where I am willing to allow my friends to teach me something new every time we are together. I have friends who hate to camp. I have struggled to find my voice. We are often just navigating them on our own and learning as we go. This is an important question because the stronger the support network, the easier the recovery. Being in the wrong relationship or being surrounded by people who don't make us feel good or take advantage of us can feel awful and drain us emotionally. I am not a perfect friend by far, but I am willing to show up for my friends. In fact, it would be quite boring if we always agreed. I have not always been the best at offering feedback. Be the kind of friend that you would want to have.”. Schedule time for your friends just as … I grew up being a trusting person. Through that process I came up with a list of my 10 habits of mindfully cultivating friendships. My friends aren’t mind readers. All strong relationships require a degree of compromise and fairness. Make sure your closest friends are high on your priority list, not just for emails or texts but for real, live phone calls and get-togethers. In thinking about cultivating friendships in the same way that one would cultivate a garden, loyalty is paramount. Face cold season with the Powerhouse of Immune-Support. Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window). Our friends can lift us up and stand in the gap when family members don’t support us. To learn more about cultivating … It happens to us all. It can be unfair and piss us off to no end. The answer to this question may differ from person to person, and there is … Apprentice Editor: Sarah Qureshi/Editor: Rachel Nussbaum. I have felt the sting of losing friendships because I have been stubborn and haven’t allowed my friends the space to be themselves. People are always changing, and I can never fully know someone. Every time you read, share, comment or heart you help an article improve its Rating—which helps Readers see important issues & writers win $$$ from Elephant. Cultivate yourself so you have something to share with others. If you don’t have one yet, keep reading to learn tips on finding a Christian friend…. We all make mistakes. If you want to build deeper connections with your friends, here's how to get started. The process of writing this article has been pretty intense for me. This served me well for a while, until I got burned. amzn_assoc_region = "US"; There is old proverb that says, “friends are flowers in the garden of life.”� Friendships need their own kind of water and soil to grow … Copyright © 2020 Waylon H. Lewis Enterprises. This also requires me to expand my friendship base and maintain more than one friendship. amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart"; If … It is an adventure to allow them to introduce me to new things and new ways of thinking. Your investment will help Elephant Journal invest in our editors and writers who promote your values to create the change you want to see in your world! As an Imago relationship therapist and someone who specializes in helping my clients achieve happy and healthy relationships I have come to view much of happiness through a relational lens.

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