It’s been about six months since I’ve last posted. Heck, out of the 9 (this being the ninth) posts we’ve published this year – this is only my 3rd.
The last time I was regularly writing for here was last November, it was the final post in my Ranking The Star Trek movie series. Around that time, my anxiety and depression started to flare up, and for whatever reason – writing, something I (am probably not that good at) really enjoy doing, became really daunting. For whatever reason, it began to stress me out a lot – and to be honest, I almost skipped finishing that Trek series cause (for no discernible reason) I was getting so anxious about writing it.
But today, I wanted to write.
So – I still can’t get into the things that were going on, but this past year has been one of the hardest of my life. I don’t mean that in an exaggerated sense – my family were given news that was insanely rough – everything was pointing to tragedy – and it was 5 months of living in this when you “know” tragedy is coming (you’re trying to be faithful, praying for miracles, but all existing and new signs are b-lining straight to tragedy). Also during this time, there were a lot of negative things happening at work. It would seem like we’d just navigate through one thing, and get walloped with something new – you got up from taking a left hook, and you’re getting rocked with a right haymaker (or whatever punching name/analogy is correct). It was rough, it was mostly negative, felt endless, and was definitely impacting my health – which didn’t help matters.
At one point, when a doctor had asked if things were particularly stressful lately – I related to him everything that was going on, and he responded with a very Ben Wyatt “…good lord” – which was as hilarious as it was validating.
But here’s the thing – God is good. In all of this, God was and is good. He was with us during all of it – giving the strength to get through the bad – and surrounding us with love and loved ones – which helped the bad not become even worse. We saw God’s strength and love in action through each other and others. He got us through this truly rough time. There was also a huge miracle in there – which none of us saw coming, and something we’re thankful for every day.
The blessings have continued. During all of this, I was becoming increasingly burnt out and “done” at my job – which furthered the negative stretch. But not only did God get me through it, in His wonderful timing I was able to transition into a new role (and job) while still helping with the transition in my old role/job.
Now I’m not gonna pretend everything’s all hunky-dory now. The anxiety still messes with me in ridiculous ways – heck the other day I was super excited about some suggestions and ideas I was working on, but because there wasn’t an immediate response, it just messed with me all day in a big bad way (which I know isn’t rational, but anxiety isn’t).
Lately it’s been a daily fight – but God is good, and gets us through. With that daily fight comes frequent daily prayer, and daily reminders of God’s goodness – which you can see in abundance!
I’d like to thank everyone whose kept me, my family, and work in their prayers.
I’d also like to encourage you – if you’re going through anxiety and/or depression, please talk to someone – be they a professional or friend, and share with them what’s going on. Find others who will keep you in prayer, and daily take it to God!
If you ever need prayer (or a quick chat) – please drop me an email.
Hope and pray this was helpful!
If I don’t write another post before then – Merry Christmas!
God bless my friends!